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Rules of Politics
August 12, 2006
The rules of POLITICAL CORRECTNESS when it comes to the Israeli-Arab conflict:

Rule # 1: In the Middle East, it is always the Arabs that attack first, and it's always Israel who defends itself. This is called "retaliation".

Rule # 2: The Arabs, whether Palestinians or Lebanese, are not allowed to kill Israelis. This is called "terrorism"

Rule # 3: Israel has the right to kill Arab civilians; this is called "self-defense", or these days "collateral damage".

Rule # 4: When Israel kills too many civilians. The Western world calls for restraint. This is called the "reaction of the international community".

Rule # 5: Palestinians and Lebanese do not have the right to capture Israeli military, not even a limited number, not even 1 or 2.

Rule # 6: Israel has the right to capture as many Palestinians as they want (Palestinians: around 10000 to date, 300 of which are children, Lebanese: 1000s to date, being held without trial). There is no limit; there is no need for proof of guilt or trial. All that is needed is the magic word: "terrorism"

Rule # 7: When you say "Hezbollah", always be sure to add "supported by Syria and Iran"

Rule # 8: When you say "Israel", never say "supported by the USA, the UK and other European countries", for people (God forbid) might believe this is not an equal conflict

Rule # 9: When it comes to Israel, don't mention the words "occupied territories", "UN resolutions", "Geneva conventions". This could distress the audience of Fox.

Rule # 10: Israelis speak better English than Arabs. This is why we let them
Speak out as much as possible, so that they can explain rules 1 through 9. This is called "neutral journalism".

Rule # 11: If you don't agree with these rules or if you favor the Arab side over the Israeli side, you must be a very dangerous anti-Semite. You may even have to make a public apology if you express your honest opinion (isn't democracy wonderful?)


posted by Fonzy @ 8/12/2006 08:50:00 PM  
  • At 8/13/2006 12:12:00 AM, Blogger Fallen Angel said…

    This is one of my favorite posts you made. So disturbingly true I gotta say. Hmmm, I'd like to share some of mine:

    Rule #1: Any Arab who wishes Peace to BOTH Palestinians / Lebanese and Israeli civilians is considered a "traitor" and "delusionist."

    Rule #2: Any Arab who considers Hamas Hezballah, and the Israeli Army terrorists is considered a "traitor."

    Rule #3: Any Arab who befriends a Jew or a Christian is considered a "traitor."

    Rule #4: Any Arab who doesn't watch Al-Jazeera is considered a traitor."

    And finally my favorite rule of all time would has to be:

    Any Arab who agrees that there is a Western Hypocrisy toward the Arabs AND ALSO believes the first step to achieve peace should be within (or inside) the Arab world is considered...well...any curse name you can think of!

  • At 8/13/2006 12:53:00 AM, Blogger MSB said…

    so very very true!!!

  • At 8/13/2006 03:59:00 PM, Blogger Warda said…

    Sad but true !! :(

  • At 8/13/2006 06:46:00 PM, Blogger Fonzy said…

    fallen angel. i agree with ur rules too.

    msb, warda... yes, sad but true:(

  • At 8/17/2006 04:50:00 AM, Blogger sarzoory said…

    All of then r soo TRUE -sadly-

    PS: I personally loved the post.

  • At 8/17/2006 08:48:00 PM, Blogger Fonzy said…

    sarzoory.. sad but true:(

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Name: Fonzy
Home: Kuwait
About Me: In brief, I graduated from LAU in Lebanon with a double major in Busines Computer and Banking & Finance. Worked in many pubs and night clubs as a DJ, PR, and Security Comptroller. Now I'm in Kuwait.... been here since September 2005. Im working two jobs, one in the morning and the other in the afternoon, and a third project is on the way, which will be a great hit if it works out and i sleep max 5 hours a day. Its a chilled life, mostly work, and occasional outings. In Kuwait, I use my brain cells, then go to Lebanon and burn them:D But one fact remains unchanged and will always be.... I MISS LEBANON!!!!!
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